Skatology....

(many thanx to the members of the Dutch skeeler mailing list)

Skielurre, wha's tha ?
(or: "skeeleren", as the official Dutch translation for "inline skating" is...).

The Dutch standard dictionary "Van Dale" tells us the following about this:

Skeeler. - -."An English term for a rollerskate with three wheels in line."
As skaters we know better than that. Skeeler is a registered trademark of the Zandstra skate factory from Joure (Friesland) for an inline skate with five wheels. Speed-skates in English.
Some beginning cracks buy their equipment at supermarkets or countryside sport shops. We call these rollers often agriskates for this reason. Rollers are the wheelskates, not the users standing on (in) these.
Pluriel is skeelers (or: skielurs).

Skeeleren (to skeeler; verb) - - "Litterally the term for rolling on skeelers."
Many times this word is exchanged with the word skaten, (inline skating), especially by journalists, elderly and rural people. The last kind you can recognize by their mispronunciation of the word. They speak of "skielrn" instead of "skeeleren". For instance one of the most famous Dutch speedskaters, Erik Hulzebosch, is such a rural dialect speaker. That's why those guys are subtitled when we see (hear) them on TV. So in Holland we're lucky there's seldom a speedskate race broadcasted.

Skeelerer - "Someone in race cyclers outfit plodding solitary along silent rural polder roads".
Some journalists speak about skeeleraar (speedskater), but the word seems to have a close appearance to the word skileraar.(ski-teacher).
In real it's almost impossible to find any greater difference than between the two of those.

Bart. (skeeler mailinglist)

In the seventh inline heaven....

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. Greeting him, the Lord says, "You've lived a good life. If there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know." The cat thinks for a minute and says "Well, all my life I lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor...." The Lord stops the cat and says "Say no more!" Just then a wonderful fluffy pillow appears and the cat contentedly wanders off to find a good place to nap.

A few days later, six mice killed in a tragic farming accident go to heaven. The Lord is there to greet them with the same offer. The mice answer: "All our lives we've been chased. We've had to run from cats, from tractors, even from that farmer's wife with her broom. We're tired of running...." "Say no more!" the Lord replies. In a flash, each mouse is fitted with a beautiful new pair of roller skates, and they skate happily off to explore the heavenly landscape.

About a week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing away. He gently wakes the cat and asks, "How are things since you got here?"
The cat stretches, yawns, and replies "Oh, it is wonderful here. I get a lot of great sleep on this pillow, and those incredible Meals on Wheels you've been sending were terrific!"

Brad Max (USA)